In which The Gay Recluse updates his informal but rather telling quantitative analysis of Modern Love, the weekly Style Section (of The Times) column in which openly gay writers almost never appear, and even less frequently describe a romantic relationship.
This week’s piece: A Brother As Significant as Any Other by Lawrence Everett Forbes
Subject: Although we’ve retired from rewriting the ML columns, we wanted to update our tally because — hey! — Daniel Jones ran a piece this week by a real cock-sucking gai! But don’t worry, it’s not about same-sex romantic love between two men, but instead describes a rather unsettling affection between two brothers, one straight and one gay. In short, because from reading Modern Love over the years we have learned that the gays are crazy and incapable of anything resembling real love (by which we mean love between one man and one woman, preferably in a suburb), we are relieved to learn that the author of this piece also sounds rather insane as he unconsciously uses phrases like “too close” to describe his family and then discloses the unsettling fact (in the context of the piece, of course) that neither he nor his brother has ever had a relationship longer than a “brief affair.”
Check out this: “Rather than drive us apart, my admission had bound us closer together.”
Or this: “Our parents recently celebrated their 39th anniversary. Their union has always been one of affectionate gestures and caretaking. You’d think growing up with such stellar role models would help us find healthy long-term relationships, yet neither of us has had a partner for longer than a season.”
OMG, barf! Seriously, is there a 911 for therapy?
Filed under: Gay Man on “Family” (and yes, we’re updating the tally to include the past few weeks, which were two straight women on Zzzzz.)
The updated tally (or why we feel like animals in the zoo): 8 out of 187 columns by openly gay writers; 2 out of 187 on female gay relationships; 0 out of 187 on male gay relationships. In what is arguably the “gayest” section of The Times, more women have written about gay men than gay men have.
Straight Woman on Relationships iiiii iiiii iiiii iiiii iiiii iiiii iiiii iiiii iiii (44)
Straight Woman on Family iiiii iiiii iiiii iiiii iiiii iiiii iiiii iii (38)
Straight Woman on “Looking for Love” iiiii iiiii iiiii iiiii iiiii iiiii iiiii (35)
Straight Woman on Breaking Up iiiii iiiii iiiii iiiii iii (23)
Straight Man on Relationships iiiii iiiii ii (12)
Straight Man on Breakup iiiiii (6)
Straight Woman on Gay Men iiiii i (6)
Straight Man on Family iiiii ii (7)
Straight Man on “Looking for Love” iiiii ii (7)
Gay Man on Family ii (2)
Gay Woman on Relationship ii (2)
Gay Woman on Family ii (2)
Gay Man on Self-Hatred i (1)
Gay Man on Prom Date i (1)
Ambiguous/Nurse on Drugs i (1)
